We've had a power shift here, but it seems to have happened more slowly that what you report. Kwan Yin has gotten much larger and Vinnie has become rather feeble (he is 16) and it seems now that she does as she pleases and he stays out of her way a bit more than before. Your boys seems to be pretty dramatic though. :( Sorry I don't have any helpful advice. I hope that they calm down soon.