bluesilverkdg (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluesilverkdg) wrote2008-08-20 10:48 am
bluesilverkdg) wrote2008-08-20 10:48 am
(no subject)
Hi everyone..
Just wanted to say thank you for your comments and kind words yesterday. I also had several sweet texts, e-mails and voice mails when I got home, and I was really touched by everyone's concern.
I'll get to comments from yesterday later on. I have over 80 to address, so it'll take a while! But when I got in from her burial and saw all those comments, I was a little overwhelmed (in a good way) at everyone's response.
She has been buried up at our cabin, next to my Dazzle kitty. Dexter is also buried there. It's becoming a regular pet cemetery.
I was glad that I decided to go ahead and bury her body, rather than having her cremated. When Dexter died, I opted for cremation, in part because he was so big, and also because I was so distraught, I was incapable of coherent thought and figured that was the best thing to do. I had to wait a week on his ashes, and then when they called to tell me that they were ready, I had a panic attack in the parking lot of the ER when I went to pick them up. I actually had to have my friend Cheryl get them for me, because I could not bring myself to get in the door. So it was like reliving everything at a later date...almost like losing him twice. But with Sabrina, I was actually able to hold her body in the car while we were driving up there (again..it was wrapped), then I buried her myself. OK, in fairness, dad dug the grave. But I laid her in it and helped to cover her. I think that was therapeutic in a way, even though I did sob like a baby when I was putting her down.
I'm a big believer in, rather than putting fresh or dried flowers on a grave, planting a perennial on it instead. My grandparents have lilies and roses and all kinds of other flowers around their gravesite that come back year after year. On Dexter's grave, I planted a magnolia tree (which had a gorgeous bloom on it yesterday.) So I was trying to come up with something appropriate for Sabrina's. I remembered that she used to love to eat my purple shamrock (oxalis, I think it's called.) My aunt has a ton of it growing around her house, and even though it goes dormant in the winter (as a houseplant or an outdoor bedding plant), it comes back every spring. So, now Sabrina can have all the shamrock salad she wants, because her grave is sporting a vast array of purple shamrock.
Today I just feel sort of lost. I think it's finally starting to sink in that she's really gone and not coming back. Yesterday, I was numb, but I had no choice except to be busy. Today, I just feel...sad and a little angry. It just seems so senseless that she's gone, but my logical mind keeps thinking that there must have been a reason. I know that periodontal disease can cause heart problems in both humans and animals. Plus, factoring in her asthma, I knew there was a risk with her breathing under sedation. But still...she was a relatively young, pampered housecat. I truly expected her to last another healthy 5 years or more. I just don't understand.
I think General has finally started getting back to normal. He's sleeping and eating at least. Oreo keeps laying on the spot on the carpet where I'd put her body for them to sniff. Misty won't come out of the guest room, and hisses at me every time I look at her. It's going to take a while. I have decided that I'm going to get a young cat in the near future. Not to replace Sabrina, but just to try and bring a sense of balance back to the house. I don't think I want (or need) a baby baby kitten, but I don't think it would be wise to bring a full-grown adult cat into a house full of senior kitties. So I'm thinking one between 6 months-1 year might be the way to go. I'm debating another male. I'm not sure if General would have it. Any words of wisdom on this? I think what I'll probably do is just go to the shelter and let one pick me. No preconceived notions about what I want or think I need..I'll just let a sweet, friendly, affectionate kitty adopt me. But that's for a later time.
Today, I need to just keep my mind occupied..
Just wanted to say thank you for your comments and kind words yesterday. I also had several sweet texts, e-mails and voice mails when I got home, and I was really touched by everyone's concern.
I'll get to comments from yesterday later on. I have over 80 to address, so it'll take a while! But when I got in from her burial and saw all those comments, I was a little overwhelmed (in a good way) at everyone's response.
She has been buried up at our cabin, next to my Dazzle kitty. Dexter is also buried there. It's becoming a regular pet cemetery.
I was glad that I decided to go ahead and bury her body, rather than having her cremated. When Dexter died, I opted for cremation, in part because he was so big, and also because I was so distraught, I was incapable of coherent thought and figured that was the best thing to do. I had to wait a week on his ashes, and then when they called to tell me that they were ready, I had a panic attack in the parking lot of the ER when I went to pick them up. I actually had to have my friend Cheryl get them for me, because I could not bring myself to get in the door. So it was like reliving everything at a later date...almost like losing him twice. But with Sabrina, I was actually able to hold her body in the car while we were driving up there (again..it was wrapped), then I buried her myself. OK, in fairness, dad dug the grave. But I laid her in it and helped to cover her. I think that was therapeutic in a way, even though I did sob like a baby when I was putting her down.
I'm a big believer in, rather than putting fresh or dried flowers on a grave, planting a perennial on it instead. My grandparents have lilies and roses and all kinds of other flowers around their gravesite that come back year after year. On Dexter's grave, I planted a magnolia tree (which had a gorgeous bloom on it yesterday.) So I was trying to come up with something appropriate for Sabrina's. I remembered that she used to love to eat my purple shamrock (oxalis, I think it's called.) My aunt has a ton of it growing around her house, and even though it goes dormant in the winter (as a houseplant or an outdoor bedding plant), it comes back every spring. So, now Sabrina can have all the shamrock salad she wants, because her grave is sporting a vast array of purple shamrock.
Today I just feel sort of lost. I think it's finally starting to sink in that she's really gone and not coming back. Yesterday, I was numb, but I had no choice except to be busy. Today, I just feel...sad and a little angry. It just seems so senseless that she's gone, but my logical mind keeps thinking that there must have been a reason. I know that periodontal disease can cause heart problems in both humans and animals. Plus, factoring in her asthma, I knew there was a risk with her breathing under sedation. But still...she was a relatively young, pampered housecat. I truly expected her to last another healthy 5 years or more. I just don't understand.
I think General has finally started getting back to normal. He's sleeping and eating at least. Oreo keeps laying on the spot on the carpet where I'd put her body for them to sniff. Misty won't come out of the guest room, and hisses at me every time I look at her. It's going to take a while. I have decided that I'm going to get a young cat in the near future. Not to replace Sabrina, but just to try and bring a sense of balance back to the house. I don't think I want (or need) a baby baby kitten, but I don't think it would be wise to bring a full-grown adult cat into a house full of senior kitties. So I'm thinking one between 6 months-1 year might be the way to go. I'm debating another male. I'm not sure if General would have it. Any words of wisdom on this? I think what I'll probably do is just go to the shelter and let one pick me. No preconceived notions about what I want or think I need..I'll just let a sweet, friendly, affectionate kitty adopt me. But that's for a later time.
Today, I need to just keep my mind occupied..