bluesilverkdg (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluesilverkdg) wrote2009-08-17 01:46 pm
bluesilverkdg) wrote2009-08-17 01:46 pm
Sabrina
I can't believe that it's coming up on the one-year anniversary of Sabrina's death. http://bluesilverkdg.livejournal.com/2008/08/19/
I still sometimes can't believe that she's gone and I still miss her so much. But it's weird. I adopted Trouble shortly after she passed away, not to "replace" her, but just because I felt that I needed to. General was literally mourning himself sick, and I felt this incredible void that just had to be filled. Misty and Oreo still both rue the day I brought him home, and neither of them can really even tolerate him, but they didn't care so awfully much for Sabrina either, so what else is new.
The reason I bring up Trouble, however, is that I firmly believe that Sabrina's spirit somehow inhabited him. In other words, I think, when I went to the Washington County Humane Society that fateful day, I didn't choose him as much as he chose me.
I wanted a holding kitty. What I mean by that is, General likes to hop up on my lap, and the girls will occasionally snug with me if I'm sitting or lying down. But none of the three like me to pick them up and hold them. Sabrina, however, would've probably happily lived in my arms 24/7 if it had been practical. She loved for me to carry her around and would curl up in a little ball underneath my chin and just stay there, purring like a baby kitten. The day I went to the shelter, I was specifically looking for a kitty that wanted to, and enjoyed being held. I picked up every cat there, I think. Some of them tolerated being held, some of them seemed to genuinely enjoy it, while others wriggled out of my arms almost immediately. Trouble (who was at that time called Tiger) melted into my arms just like Sabrina used to do. And he stayed there. Eventually I turned him over so that I was holding him on his back like a baby, and he fell asleep. I sat at the animal shelter for about half an hour and let him sleep while I held him, and it was at that time that I realized I needed him as much as he needed me.
Fast forward one year, the resemblances between Trouble and Sabrina are remarkable. They share some of the same crazy traits that no other cat I've ever had, will do. Case in point: plastic shopping bags. Used to be, whenever I'd bring in bag of groceries, Sabrina would stick her head and feet through the armholes of the bag and walk around the house like Superman in his cape. She'd do this for 15-20 minutes, until she tired of it, then she'd wiggle back out and I'd put the bag away. Recently, I was putting up groceries, and forgot one of my bags on the floor. A little later, I was watching TV in bed when I heard a crinkling sound coming up the stairs. I swear, it was Trouble wearing one of my shopping bags.
You want another weird example? I just recently got a hula hoop (unfortunately not one of the weighted dance/exercise hoops like I was wanting, but it does the trick.) It was laying in the middle of my bedroom floor the other day when I noticed Trouble snoozing inside it. Guess who else used to sleep in my hula hoop?
Everyone used to say that Sabrina looked like a lion. She didn't have a typical "cat nose" sort of turned up at the end. Her nose sort of pointed downward, more like a C-shape. Trouble has almost the exact same nose.
It's eerie how much he reminds me of her. Oh, and there's of course, the fact that from day one, he made torturing Oreo his mission in life. Sabrina also used to enjoy this. I just have to think this is all more than coincidence. I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason, and like I said, I'm pretty sure that there was a big reason Trouble and I found each other that day.
On August 19, it will be one year that I lost Sabrina. I still grieve for her almost every day and find myself tearing up when I see pictures of her. I think most of you were on my friends list last year when she died, but if you were not, or don't remember, she passed away under anasthesia while having her teeth cleaned. One of her teeth had actually fallen out, which is what precipitated our visit to the vet. Upon arriving, I was told that she had Stage 3 periodonatal disease that needed immediate attention. She needed to have the hole stitched up where the tooth had fallen out, and the others needed cleaning. Sabrina had asthma from the time she was a kitten. I was concerned about her going under anasthesia, since she was asthmatic, but I was assured every precaution would be taken. However, on the operating table, she stopped breathing, had a heart attack and was dead in the span of a few minutes. I got to the animal hospital three minutes after she died, and I'd also made the decision to leave her there overnight, rather than taking her home with me, then taking her back the next morning for the surgery/cleaning. I still have not totally forgiven myself for that decision...the fact that she spent her last night alive in a strange place, in a cage, with cats she did not know, rather than sleeping in my bed with me. I know that logically, I had no way of knowing she wouldn't be coming home the next day, but all honesty, I did have a really bad feeling. I just knew something was going to happen, so I still blame myself for not bringing her home that night.
OK, well, this has just been depressing. As if there wasn't enough depressing stuff going on already. But the good thing is, I do believe with every ounce of my being that Trouble was brought to me to fill the void that Sabrina had left, and he has done so in spades.
I still sometimes can't believe that she's gone and I still miss her so much. But it's weird. I adopted Trouble shortly after she passed away, not to "replace" her, but just because I felt that I needed to. General was literally mourning himself sick, and I felt this incredible void that just had to be filled. Misty and Oreo still both rue the day I brought him home, and neither of them can really even tolerate him, but they didn't care so awfully much for Sabrina either, so what else is new.
The reason I bring up Trouble, however, is that I firmly believe that Sabrina's spirit somehow inhabited him. In other words, I think, when I went to the Washington County Humane Society that fateful day, I didn't choose him as much as he chose me.
I wanted a holding kitty. What I mean by that is, General likes to hop up on my lap, and the girls will occasionally snug with me if I'm sitting or lying down. But none of the three like me to pick them up and hold them. Sabrina, however, would've probably happily lived in my arms 24/7 if it had been practical. She loved for me to carry her around and would curl up in a little ball underneath my chin and just stay there, purring like a baby kitten. The day I went to the shelter, I was specifically looking for a kitty that wanted to, and enjoyed being held. I picked up every cat there, I think. Some of them tolerated being held, some of them seemed to genuinely enjoy it, while others wriggled out of my arms almost immediately. Trouble (who was at that time called Tiger) melted into my arms just like Sabrina used to do. And he stayed there. Eventually I turned him over so that I was holding him on his back like a baby, and he fell asleep. I sat at the animal shelter for about half an hour and let him sleep while I held him, and it was at that time that I realized I needed him as much as he needed me.
Fast forward one year, the resemblances between Trouble and Sabrina are remarkable. They share some of the same crazy traits that no other cat I've ever had, will do. Case in point: plastic shopping bags. Used to be, whenever I'd bring in bag of groceries, Sabrina would stick her head and feet through the armholes of the bag and walk around the house like Superman in his cape. She'd do this for 15-20 minutes, until she tired of it, then she'd wiggle back out and I'd put the bag away. Recently, I was putting up groceries, and forgot one of my bags on the floor. A little later, I was watching TV in bed when I heard a crinkling sound coming up the stairs. I swear, it was Trouble wearing one of my shopping bags.
You want another weird example? I just recently got a hula hoop (unfortunately not one of the weighted dance/exercise hoops like I was wanting, but it does the trick.) It was laying in the middle of my bedroom floor the other day when I noticed Trouble snoozing inside it. Guess who else used to sleep in my hula hoop?
Everyone used to say that Sabrina looked like a lion. She didn't have a typical "cat nose" sort of turned up at the end. Her nose sort of pointed downward, more like a C-shape. Trouble has almost the exact same nose.
It's eerie how much he reminds me of her. Oh, and there's of course, the fact that from day one, he made torturing Oreo his mission in life. Sabrina also used to enjoy this. I just have to think this is all more than coincidence. I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason, and like I said, I'm pretty sure that there was a big reason Trouble and I found each other that day.
On August 19, it will be one year that I lost Sabrina. I still grieve for her almost every day and find myself tearing up when I see pictures of her. I think most of you were on my friends list last year when she died, but if you were not, or don't remember, she passed away under anasthesia while having her teeth cleaned. One of her teeth had actually fallen out, which is what precipitated our visit to the vet. Upon arriving, I was told that she had Stage 3 periodonatal disease that needed immediate attention. She needed to have the hole stitched up where the tooth had fallen out, and the others needed cleaning. Sabrina had asthma from the time she was a kitten. I was concerned about her going under anasthesia, since she was asthmatic, but I was assured every precaution would be taken. However, on the operating table, she stopped breathing, had a heart attack and was dead in the span of a few minutes. I got to the animal hospital three minutes after she died, and I'd also made the decision to leave her there overnight, rather than taking her home with me, then taking her back the next morning for the surgery/cleaning. I still have not totally forgiven myself for that decision...the fact that she spent her last night alive in a strange place, in a cage, with cats she did not know, rather than sleeping in my bed with me. I know that logically, I had no way of knowing she wouldn't be coming home the next day, but all honesty, I did have a really bad feeling. I just knew something was going to happen, so I still blame myself for not bringing her home that night.
OK, well, this has just been depressing. As if there wasn't enough depressing stuff going on already. But the good thing is, I do believe with every ounce of my being that Trouble was brought to me to fill the void that Sabrina had left, and he has done so in spades.
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It's a good thing that Trouble is Sabrina-like, it has to help with the grieving...and the remembering of the love. *hugs*
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It helps in a big way that they're so much alike, but I still hurt so much for her and the fact that they ARE alike almost makes it more intense. It's a double-edged sword.
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That's him on the right, thick as thieves with his big sister who stayed with us a year or so longer.
I was aware of the anniversary when we decided to get Zoey, but I was also glad that we have today just to remember him. Nobody- two-legged or four- can substitute for anyone else, but they can fill holes in hearts in their own unique ways.
Love to you, and your best of friends, present and absent.
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I hate that you have such an "anniversary" today, but realize all too well what they mean to us. I was just reading an article in Cat Fancy magazine about how to help your senior cat live longer. There's a cat who is still living (relatively healthfully, although I'm sure slower) at the age of 30. General will be 13 in a few months and the girls are almost 12. To think of having them around over twice that long again? I can't even imagine.
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Fortunately, I'm a rather compulsive pack rat. Or in this case, a pack cat:
Thanks for reminding me of that on Bozo's special day.
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Sabrina was indeed a special cat. I loved her and she reminds me SO much of my cat, Star. I'm glad that Trouble has found his place in your life though. I can't wait to meet him. :)
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I hope you can come by in October!
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The shopping bag thing is so sweet, and you're right, I've never heard of another cat doing it. What a spooky coincidence - it's like reincatnation or something.
*comforting hugs for Sabrina being gone*
*joyful hugs for finding Trouble*
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Reincatnation! Haha! :-) That's a great term. I've thought of other freaky things that the two of them have in common, which will be for another post (with some pictures, hopefully.)
I gave them all extra snugs today, just to make sure they got plenty.
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*hugs*
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PJ was gorgeous. Almost like a cross between General and Sabrina!
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God, do I ever understand, hun. I have the same pangs ofhe last two times I saw him I didn't have time for him-- Once, he wanted to sit with me on the porch for a little while. I could have, but I didn't. The second time, he came to me the night he left to say hi. I was in bed, and I woke up a little. I petted him a couple times, then went back to sleep. I wish I'd known that he was leaving. I worry that part of the reason he left was the diet I'd had him on, or that I'd been letting him outside when I knew he was out of shape- I wanted him to get in shape from it.
We loved our kitties the best we were able, though, and I think they know and appreciate that, despite the circumstances. :-(
I'm glad you've found such a good new friend this past year, K.